Before we begin discussing what we feel works and what we have seen not work, it would be good to talk about program length. It is our opinion and the opinion of many others in the troubled teen industry that in order for a program to be effective, it should be a long term program. This is good to keep in mind as you navigate through all of the options available to you in your search to find help for your troubled teen.

Long stay vs. short stay

We don't work with any but have heard that there are weekend boot camps. It is our belief that a teen who has been acting out for several years, maybe most of his life, will not be significantly changed in a weekend. We also find it hard to believe that any major changes could take place in a month. We have worked with parents that have tried short term options, and are still looking for help for their child. The reason may be due to the fact that what they are looking for doesn't exist. This goes back to what we talked about earlier.

It is highly doubtful that you will make any lasting changes in a child in a weekend or even a month. Behavior modification takes a long time to become effective. It is like most everything shown on television, it needs to include quick results with a happy ending. We work with a wilderness program that is over $17,000 for 45 days. This is a good program, but compared to a long term boot camp, which would cost $20,000 for a year, the long term is a much better value. The wilderness program is a good wake up call but once you have awakened the teen, it would seem a waste to send them back to their negative friends so quickly. Many wilderness programs will recommend a longer term placement as a follow up to their experience to try to solidify the changes made. Our belief is that it would be better to have them go directly to the long term placement rather than send them to two different programs. If you figure in the expense of transporting a defiant teen, it can be quite costly.

Options usually not effective in helping a defiant teen

Our experience has shown the following options to be less than effective for the following reasons:

• Traditional Boarding Schools
  They want teens that want to excel with references from their previous school.
  
  
• Traditional Military Schools
  They are looking for people interested in a military career. A defiant child will usually be asked to leave a military school shortly after they arrive. The parent will lose what tuition they have paid (usually a semester in advance) with no refunds.
  
  
• Hospital Placement
  With the exceptions of suicidal, and drug addicted teens a stay in the hospital is more of a vacation than anything for a defiant teen. It is a short term option that may in some cases be paid for by health insurance plans.
  
  
• Juvenile System
  The Juvenile System is not a positive option for a defiant teen. The child will meet negative friends, and actually learn more inappropriate behaviors, possibly even make new drug connections.
  
  
• Staying with Relatives
  One strategy that many families try is sending their child away from their negative friends to stay with a well meaning aunt, uncle, or grandparents. While the idea sounds like a positive one, it has not proven successful for many of the families we have talked to. The usual scenario is that the teen is good for a few days until they find a negative group of friends in their new environment. This then transfers responsibility of the child's behavior to the family member usually creating hard feelings for both families.
  
  
• Counseling or Therapy
  While counseling and Therapy are both helpful for many people they usually aren't effective for a defiant teen. In order for counseling to be effective, you have to have a willing party. The teen is usually able to convince the Therapist that they are making changes when in reality they are just continuing their manipulative behaviors.
  
  
• Home Contracts
  This is a great place to start with a defiant teen but for most truly defiant teens it is another dead end. This option requires a somewhat willing participant. Usually there is not much willingness associated with a defiant teen.
  
  
• Resource Schools
  This like the Juvenile system will typically place the teen in a situation where they will be influenced by a new group of negative peers. Usually this school is a collection of teens that have not been able to make it in a regular class setting. The setting is a little more disciplined than a regular school but in most cases it is not a positive life changing experience.
  

Options that have had success in helping defiant teens

Although the options listed below sound similar to the ones above, they are different because they will agree to work with defiant out of control children. We can help you find placement for your child in any of the options listed below.

• Specialty Boarding Schools
  Unlike traditional boarding schools, Specialty boarding schools are equipped to deal with defiant youth. They will take a teen against his or her will and help them get an education and develop an appreciation for what they have at home.
  
  
• Private Boot Camps
  This type of boot camp is very similar to what the old military basic training or boot camp used to be like. We work with some that have been around over 20 years. This type placement is very cost effective and seems to achieve what parents are looking for.
  
  
• Wilderness Programs
  While great care should be taken in selecting a safe program, this option can be an effective starting point for a defiant teen. This is usually a short term option, but when followed up by a longer term option it can be beneficial. If due to financial reasons a family would have to choose between a short term wilderness program and a longer term program, we would advocate the longer term placement.